October 9, 2021: A Day I Will Never Forget

by Tim Scifres

In my life there have been few days that truly stick out and have become unforgettable. Days like graduations…some birthdays (the surprise party my parents gave me on my 16th birthday)…my wedding day…the birth of my girls (stands at the top of my list along with my wedding day)…losing a loved one…funerals. I look back on some of these memorable days with a smile, and even some goose bumps. I also look back on some of these days with great heartbreak. As I have learned while grieving, some of these days come with a smile and heartbreak together. Time doesn’t seem to change my feelings about these days, even after years have passed.

One of the most memorable days of my life was October 9th, 2021. This was the day of my son’s funeral. A month earlier my boy, Charles, was still born at 20 weeks. I remember hurting so badly and being so devastated that I really wasn’t feeling anything. It hurt so badly it didn’t hurt anymore. I remember thinking it was not supposed to be my family sitting in the front row at our church for the funeral for our child. It was not supposed to be my son we were remembering. I remember the incredible support from our family (both blood family and life family). I remember the incredibly encouraging and heartbreaking message that was preached to us that day (Yes, in the midst of grief and loss we can be encouraged and heartbroken at the same time). I remember feeling lost in a huge barren desert without seeing or knowing which direction to go. I remember sitting down for lunch after the service and checking the score of the OU Sooner-Texas football game.

This is where the day became even more memorable, which I thought would be impossible. Anyone who knows me is well aware of how big a fan of the Oklahoma Sooners I have been for basically all my life. From Barry hanging half a hundred on anyone he wanted, to some lean years, to Big Game Bob becoming an absolute Sooner legend, to that other guy in there, and now to Brent who every Sooner is rooting to become one of the great Sooner coaches and people in the illustrious history of Sooner Nation. I have been there through them all.

Also, people know how the OU-Texas football game is one of the biggest football games of every year on the second Saturday of October. This specific Saturday afternoon in 2021 is an OU-Texas game Sooner football fans will easily recall. I checked the score as I sat down at dinner after Charles’ service and saw my Sooners were already way behind, which I thought was a perfect fit for this particular day. Being a fan (more like a fanatic) and in spite of the score, I hopefully kept checking to only to see the score seeming to get worse each time I checked. Then something incredible happened…

OU had a highly recruited freshman quarterback come into the game who scored a touchdown after a long run on his first play of this game. OU was still behind by a lot, but seemed to have some hope. I got home around halftime and got into my game day position, which this day was in my chair listening to the OU radio broadcast while watching the game on TV. I have been listening to OU sports on the radio since I was a young boy. I can easily remember the voice of John Brooks yelling “Geeeminy Christmas!” after a big play for OU. I know the play is big now when Toby Rowland lets loose with a big “Ohhhhh Mama!”, and the game has been won by the Sooners when Toby tells us to “Unhitch the wagon! Put the ponies in the barn!”. I am such a big fan that during my freshman year of college, my mom would record the games on cassette tapes and send them to me through the actual mail. I listened to every game about a week late!

Back to this unreal day and our game…OU made some incredible plays and came back from a big deficit to win one of the greatest OU-Texas games of all time. During most games that OU plays I will be pacing, yelling, fidgeting, yelling some more, mainly just being engrossed in the game. This day was different as I was in my chair the whole second half, quietly watching and enjoying the heck out of the game while the thoughts and feelings from what happened earlier in the day never left my heart and my mind. While most games are something fun and a way to lose myself in Sooner Magic, this game meant so much more. This game brought me a small ray of something positive and provided a distraction for just a little while. Listening to the familiar voices of Toby, Ted Lehman, Gabe Ikard, and Chris Plank describe the game actually gave me something to hold on to for just a little while. It was definitely nicer that we beat Texas the way we did that day, but the feeling of familiarity, community, and positivity was more important (when in every other OU-Texas game in my life, the win has ALWAYS been the most important thing)! It was like a small spot of shade with some cold water in the middle of the big desert I was wandering through. It was relieving to have a little respite, even knowing that I was not out of the desert.

October 9, 2021 is a day that showed me some of the complexities of grieving and loss. The ability to have something so completely devastating and something so incredibly exciting happen at the same time has become something that is pretty common the past four years that I have been on this journey. It has made the games more important, not for the wins or losses, but the experience of having a little something to hold on to something to look forward to, something to lose myself in. Everyone who is in the midst of their journey of utter heartbreak and loss need some spots to get into the shade. We need a spot with something to hang on to for a little while. We need to see Marvin Mims make an absolutely incredible touchdown catch while watching his shoe lace barely miss hitting out of bounds!! I needed to feel a little positivity through the incredible weight of going to my little Sooner buddy’s funeral. This day is definitely a day I will never forget.